Overcoming fears and dealing with the monster in the closet

This past Friday, a post in the Third Tribe forums caught my attention.

Stanford Smith of PushingSocial.com encouraged people to start overcoming fears and write their Boogy man post. Stanford says:

Although you may not want to admit it there is something that scares you.   It has tremendous power over you and effects every part of your life.  It prods you to make the safe choice in your relationships, your career, friendships, and even your blog.

Overcoming fears… Here goes nothing…

The biggest thing I’m afraid of is that what I tell my clients to do will work for them, but won’t work for me. I know that I’m able to talk a big game, and even know how to execute.

But will it really work for me?

I’m afraid that when I become a new father, I won’t be able to rely on the business that I’ve built over the past year to provide for my family. That one day I’ll have to put myself in the position to be fired over a pair of pants again, or even worse, have such a focused perseverance that I’ll put both my partner and my child in danger by struggling to make it work while the ship is clearly sinking.

I’m afraid that I’ll forever doomed to be an unknown.

Or that I’m wasting my time.

I’m afraid that this post will be seen as a cry for attention.

And no one will care, even if it is.

I’m scared that no one will take me seriously.

One day all of the work that I’ve put in, the monster in the closet will tap me on the shoulder, say “just kidding”, punch me in the face and run away with my career.

My clients are great. I couldn’t ask for better clients.

I’m scared that one day they’ll turn. That at any moment they’ll call me up and say:

“It’s over.”

I struggle with overcoming fears that I don’t really know 14 disciplines of online marketing. And that you think my website sucks.

I’m afraid the monster in the closet is actually my own brand character and it turns out you don’t like him. Somehow you’ll rally together and find a way to ban him from the internet.

I’m scared that one day you’ll think I have no idea on how to be useful.

At any moment that everything I’ve built up over the past year could all go away and that I’ll once again have to find someone’s couch to sleep on.

I’m afraid you think my posts are too long.

Or too short.

Or that you wonder why I’m even posting at all.

If you’re even read this far? Or if you’ve just glossed over this line. Have you already clicked the back button?

I hope you’re not giggling at me right now. Pointing and laughing saying, “look at this blog! He doesn’t know what he’s talking about!”

Or wondering why I’ve even wrote an “overcoming fears” post…

The truth is,  I’m terrified of these things on a daily basis.

But, I know that I control the monster in the closet. I know my fears are a reflection of many of yours. That’s why I do my best to take a realistic approach to helping you face your monster in the closet.

It helps me keep mine at bay.

I know that overcoming fears is the only reason I’m here. I know overcoming fears is necessary for continued success.

I know continued success relies on my own ability to persevere.

I’ll always be overcoming fears that I know are only there to hold me back.

And I’ll respect the fears I know are healthy.

Because I know that those will always keep me in check.

So tell me… What is your monster in the closet?

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Guerrero Ink August 30, 2010 at 3:15 pm

Rats, I meant to get over to 3T yesterday but I am on deadline and so did not have the time.

Hmm, I’ll have to think about it and get back to you.

No monsters in my closet but a loose polar bear–that is a big one even though I don’t live anywhere near the wild ones.

Read the book, “The Cage” and you’ll so understand.

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Tommy is my name August 30, 2010 at 3:26 pm

I’m pretty sure I’d be afraid if there was a polar bear in my closet…

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Stanford @ PushingSocial August 31, 2010 at 5:38 pm

I love your honesty here. I share many of the same fears. But I think you’re good bro. Your posts are great. I connect with your brand and definitely take you seriously.

Keep killin’ it

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Gabrielle September 3, 2010 at 12:16 am

“I hope you’re not giggling at me right now.”

I was definitely giggling at you not because of what you think though, but because you are so right! I identify with a bunch of those fears (well obviously not the father one).

I do know that if everyone keeps moving forward, being honest about where they are at and working on getting over fear, we will get to where we all want to be – meeting our goals and making new ones.

I also learned recently that linking values to what I do helps me remember I am in business to protect my family, share my knowledge and teach others.

Great post and connected with me.

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Tommy is my name September 3, 2010 at 2:16 pm

::hides in corner::

lol I’m glad this piece connected with you. I’m pretty sure that many of these fears are pretty common, but you’re absolutely right, it’s a matter of perseverance to keep going even when you’re the most afraid.

Thank you for checking it out! ;-)

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Melissa Dinwiddie September 3, 2010 at 9:48 pm

Like Gabrielle, I was giggling because your fears are so in line with my own. Thanks for sharing.

I’ve been thinking about fear a lot lately, and the people I admire who seem so fearless. But I know that’s a misnomer. It’s been said many ways, by may people: Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to charge forward *despite* the fear. (And in fact, if you didn’t feel fear, the charging ahead wouldn’t be particularly brave, would it?)

Keep wrestling that monster, Tommy. And writing great posts! We’re all better off for it.

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Bunster P. Borroto April 24, 2011 at 5:56 pm

I’m new visiting your blog, but familiar with most of these fears, as well. I think the monster I want to defeat is the fear of being cheated out of another good paycheck again. I wasn’t fired by a pair of pants, but rather because my father isn’t as famous as my replacement’s. Therefore, I was unceremoniously shown to the door with 10% of my pay missing, because I “had arrived late numerous times to the office”.

Your outlook on keeping fears in check is something I’ve been pondering for awhile. We can’t control everything and everyone around us, but we are in control of our own minds and thoughts. Thank you for wording it in such an engaging manner. Big fan!

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Tommy is my name April 24, 2011 at 7:02 pm

Hey Bunster thanks for stopping by!

This is a subject that is very near and dear to me, so I’m very happy that you’ve shared a part of your story :-)

Unfortunately, things like that happen, but don’t question for a second your worth or the value you bring to the table. Keep doing what you’re doing, and take this as the opportunity to get better, to learn and become the best you can possibly be.

Also, I think it’s important to accept that we can not control something as complex as the human mind. But we can control our actions, and it’s only when you decide to take action, even if your thoughts are going against you, that we can get better.

Keep your head up, and I hope to see more of you :-)

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  • Tommy Walker

    Hi I'm Tommy

    If your customer’s aren’t absolutely enthusiastic about what you do, chances are you’re boring them to death. Currently, I'm teaching freelancers and entrepreneurs how to sell in higher paying markets

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